Ahem. I need a little help. I have something growing in my front yard. Right by my front door. In plain sight. It's a climber and it loves this shady spot. I don't remember planting it, and I can tell you right now I don't know what it is. It looks oddly peculiar and somewhat suspicious. Ok, it looks very suspicious. I'm hoping you Bloomin' Tuesday ladies can fill me in to its species and put my mind at rest. I don't want an officer of the law knocking on my door and telling me I have a controlled substance growing smack dab in the middle of my garden plainly visible to little old ladies, small children, and poodles. Contraband would be hard to explain to the neighbors, let alone the police -- especially when I've been taking such good care of it -- watering it daily and fertilizing it on schedule. I'm at your mercy, ladies...
What is this?
And please don't tell me it's "weed" -- without specifying just what variety. Thank you.
PS: That's hail damage on the leaves. We've had our fair share -- and then some -- of hail this summer!